If I were deaf, I’d wear loud clothing. My clothes would also be covered in coffee stains, because Helen Keller is my hero.

“If my name were Oscar, I’d want to be an actor and win my namesake award and ta…”

“Politics isn’t dirty. And neither are politicians. No, politicians are filthy.”

“When it doesn’t matter to you, that’s where I’ll find the most matter. The pile…”

“You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to beat me to my rooster costu…”