If I were to show you pictures of my best friends, they’d all be cats.

“I let go of her memory the moment I let go of her hand. She fell over 500 feet …”

“I get Gulliver’s Travels and Thousand Island dressing mixed up.”

“The only reason I don’t know more about love is because there just isn’t more t…”

“The best part about teamwork, is me collecting all the prize money. Hey, that’s…”