If kids six and under eat free, then I’m an infant. Or at least infantile. Bring on the steaks.

“I think you know if you disappeared from my life I’d be upset, but ultimately I…”

“I don’t like tit for tat. I like tit for tit. Bring on the boobies!”

“I can’t swim, because despite my love being shaped like Michael Phelps, it’s so…”

“All my best writing was written before 1982, and then a significant event happe…”