If love had two wings and rhymed with “mutter-lie,” could I be your caterpillar? All I’m asking for is a little time to mature.

“I just invented a new light that shuts off automatically when an ugly person wa…”

“God ordered the world and all things in it, and I ordered a pizza and all thing…”

“It’s not hush money. It’s simply dollars backed not by faith, but by shhh.”

“After the first meal with a new girlfriend’s family, I always like to say, “Wil…”