If love were a person, it would look like me, only taller. And more handsome. And quite likely more muscular too.

“I should invent a stationary bike/electrical generator/phonograph player, so th…”

“Things should go where I intend them to go, not where I tend to put them.”

“You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll als…”

“A brick could be used to stop potential terrorist plots. But it sure would be m…”