If love were a porch light, I’d be the moth. And you’d be the freshly-pressed pants I’m dying to eat.

“I’m a natural salesman. I sold my soul to the devil. I’m so shrewd that I got p…”

“Who inspires me to write? My clone. I just want him to appreciate me as a perso…”

“A brick could be used to trick a snake into leaving your pet mouse alone. That …”

“If love had its limits, and those limits tasted like lasagna, could you see you…”