If my penis were big enough to be mistaken for a leg, I am not sure I'd want the world to know. However, I would walk up and down the stairs a lot. What you'd call masturbation, I'd call exercise.

“Wisdom is gained like grain for bread, I think as I butter my toast. I’d better…”

“If my doctor told me I only had five minutes to live, I’d probably change all t…”

“I can read lips. Especially if they have words tattooed on them.”

“I once got a handjob from a glove. I miss the 80s.”