If somebody kills me, at least I won’t be accused of murder. Well, assuming all my clones have alibis.

“A smile is like a simile, if you have a mouth like a metaphor. That would make …”

“I cried at the funeral. It wasn’t because I loved her, it was because I was the…”

“Where was I last night? I don’t remember myself. I mean I remember me—I didn’t …”

“The most the average person probably reads in a day is a STOP sign or two. And …”