If taxis were patriotic symbols, I’d flag one down on the Fourth of July.

“You can read until you’re blue in the face, but I’d recommend writing until you…”

“I once tried out for the Girl Scouts. I only went to one meeting. I ate all the…”

“My advice for a person who's just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, Flap yo…”

“I want to write a song based on my own childbirth. Of course, this is all a bit…”