If you could buy time, I would sell it. Yesterday would be expensive, and tomorrow would be cheap.

“If I’m having sex during an earthquake, would I get a refund on all those quart…”

“What ends in a W, has no beginning, and is always in the present? Now.”

“You’re already older than the last time I saw you, and I just saw you right bef…”

“When you carry a gun, everything starts looking like a sword. If you pass the b…”