If you give me a gift, it’d be insulting to pay you, because I’d be denying you the gift of giving. So my gift to you is to accept your gift, thereby allowing you to enjoy the gift of giving.

“Vegetables come from the ground. So does my love. Eat it raw.”

“It has always been a fantasy of mine to drive a bulldozer. If I had a bulldozer…”

“When everything is working out for you, it means you are in the wrong gym.”

“Never spontaneously combust alone, or without a bag of marshmallows nearby.”