If you were to ask me if I have ever loved a woman, I'd probably reply, "Two gallons of milk and a midget.

“I’ll give you a glass of wine, if you give me a few drops of water from your ey…”

“The idea of a belt holding my pants up seems so 20th century. Imagine a world w…”

“I’m so hungry I could eat some silverware.”

“I wish my erection pointed inwards. But it doesn’t, it points directly at you.”