If your toaster isn’t working, stick your sword in the bread slot, and see if that doesn’t improve its behavior.

“My love is like the collision between a falling statue and still bird poop.”

“Ice cream is like the sun, except instead of it being hot it’s cold. Also it’s …”

“My name is Al, but it’s not Al Falfa. You can’t eat me, damnit. At least not le…”

“I need to work smarter, harder, faster, and longer than you. And if I still don…”