If you’re at the bar trying to pick up women, remember: bend at the knees.

“Before I saw or met you, I thought you were someone else.”

“Walking on the beach like a ventriloquist, I’ll make it sound like the ocean is…”

“Just because I look like John Wayne (at least my liver looks identical to his) …”

“A picture is worth a thousand words, but is 400% less valuable, because a pictu…”