I’ll be 30 in April. My birthday is March 5th.

“I want to invent a drug to help people get off drugs.”

“If an actor’s neither talented nor handsome, what difference is there between h…”

“I told her “Have a good weekend.” Then I thought, “Idiot. It’s Sunday night.”

“My closet’s so full of memories and fearful homosexuals that I have nowhere to …”