I’ll show the state of my nipples before asking, Is that all you’ve got, January?

“I didn't have romantic feelings for her, but my penis did. So what else could I…”

“I can’t afford to waste either my money or my time—but that doesn’t stop me fro…”

“Love is like a rolling rock—with wheels. And legs, too! But no breaks or shoes …”

“I used to date an older obese woman named Ten, but everyone just called her "X"…”