I’m a closet sociopath. You can tell by all the skeletons I have hanging up next to my clothes.


“As the Hulk is green, I was bright red. I wasn’t embarrassed, but I was having …”

“I second that notion. And if I had 59 more, I’d have a minute.”

“A blanket could be used to keep you warm on a cold night. Just pour some gasoli…”

“A brick and a blanket aptly describe my former roommate. He was as dumb as a br…”