I’m a competitor. I once placed fifth in a bottle of whiskey.

“If I had a street named after me, it would really put me on the map.”

“Do you know a man better than me?” I asked her. “Yes,” she replied. “Great,” I …”

“I am the Zam Maz of love. Or at least I will be, once 572w167e74zx2.”

“I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else …”