I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.

“When tragedy befalls me and someone says, "Better you than me," I always reply,…”

“The closer I get, the faster I have to go. Otherwise, I might be late to the ve…”

“Love is 90% what life is about, plus or minus 10%. Of course, I just made both …”

“I’ve got ears like a rabbit, and a penis like a baby carrot—fully erect, of cou…”