I’m about to cross a time zone, and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, maybe I can catch up to the love of my youth.

“His name was Skip, but I didn’t. I waited patiently in line behind him. But do …”

“The only time I’ll eat Italian wedding soup is if I’m wearing a tuxedo and eati…”

“I looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s lik…”

“If green carpet grew on trees instead of leaves, I’d pick off a few cats—with m…”