I’m an understanding guy, even when I’m standing over you.

“An elephant trunk is a metaphor for a penis. But not just any penis—my penis.”

“If green is envy and blue is depression, then I’m feeling quite turquoise right…”

“If rubber bands played basketball, I’d tell them, You have to be better down th…”

“The best part about having children is being able to point at them and proudly …”