I'm asexual, though occasionally I'm attracted to inanimate objects. Mainly tube-shaped objects.

“Schrödinger’s cat was a Siamese cat, must have been, because if it’s at once al…”

“I am the Magic Chicken of Desire. Just add water. And a brick and a blanket.
”

“Tennis is a racket that I’d like to get into. It’s so bouncy and noisy it must …”

“I won’t be lulled by the lullaby, when what waits after is eternal sleep.”