I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I can’t go anywhere. Maybe I’ll try to coax my cat off my lap so I can get up and move.

“I built my ex wife a Castle of Love, and she dug a moat and filled it with shar…”

“I once met an asexual unicycle, but I wasn’t wearing rubber gloves so I didn’t …”

“Love is, just like isn’t isn’t is.”

“I wish I had money now. If only I’d saved my allowance growing up, instead of s…”