I’m going to Australia. But first I’ve got to put on my swimming suit and stretch.

“Once the orange juice wears off, I might be drunk. I love vodka.”

“My ex girlfriend was exquisite, and my current one is quisite.”

“100% of half the people I talked to agreed with me a quarter of the time.”

“If my skin wasn’t flesh, but was tinfoil, I’d probably not only be left-handed,…”