I’m growing my hair out. Out of the country, because it’s cheaper to grow it in China.

“His last name was Worthless. Or was that just the perfect word to describe him?…”

“The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all th…”

“In my life I haven’t done anything worth writing about, but that’s OK. That’s w…”

“I like cardboard. Of course, I have to be in the mood to eat Pizza Hut.”