I’m in a biker gang. We deal in drugs. Our chapter president is Lance Armstrong.

“Drive, guy. That green light isn’t going to get a deeper green. It’ll only ripe…”

“Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get emp…”

“In my dream I was a seal, and I made love to a seagull. Then I got eaten by a s…”

“My wife must be stupid. I mean, look, she married me, didn’t she?”