I’m like a ventriloquist chasing his own voice. I can whisper and shout at the same time, and this is the closest approximation I have to a description of love. I would offer you something to drink, but I’m not in the kitchen, even though it may sound like I am.

“I love like an albino. But I don’t want to get sunburned, so would you please p…”

“If you put the “rich” in ostrich, I’ll put in the “ost.”

“A brick could be affixed to the collar of my shirt, because I’ve already got th…”

“My watch has two hands. So do I. I’d better watch my watch to see if it also ma…”