I’m not a consumer, because consumers are consumed with shopping. No, I prefer shoplifting.

“The wind chime sounded like a spoon clanging against a cereal bowl, and I was g…”

“This is my logo for Amy”

“A blanket could be used to put the war in warm. Just paint the blanket like an …”

“I didn’t chug the hairspray because I’m an alcoholic. I drank it to style my th…”