I’m not stuck up. I’m constipated.


“This is my logo for Colton”

“I threw out my sausage, and replaced it with a healthier penis metaphor, like a…”

“I made plans for 8:00. When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, “Th…”

“A brick could be an object to measure your life against. Are you square, rigid,…”