I’m so OCD that I sort the sort ofs out from the maybes.

“I lost my virginity in the back seat of a Buick. Not because I’m a romantic, bu…”

“A brick could be used to show you how much I love you. Well, maybe not a whole …”

“I can read lips. Especially if they have words tattooed on them.”

“I’m world famous. Throughout the globe—north, south, east, and west—there are l…”