I’m so silent I can hardly hear myself think. But that’s why I bought the scissors and the condom.

“To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower wi…”

“A blanket could be used as a trap to ensnare two entangled lovers. Using this m…”

“My wife and I will probably have lots of kids. Just not with each other.”

“Sometimes I retreat into sleep to advance my mood.”