I'm the oldest of twelve brothers. However, the other eleven are yet to be born.

“I want a trophy wife. I’ll keep her on the shelf next to my future Nobel peace …”

“I am the William Wallace of love. Wait, no I’m not, I’m the Robert the Bruce.”

“My TV’s remote control didn’t have a source of energy, so I poured coffee in it…”

“I listen better with earplugs in, so I can see what your body is really saying.”