I’m the Robert the Bruce of Bruces. I’m also the Robert the Bruce of Roberts. 


“A blanket of self-regulated trust on a bed of deceit. 
”

“How do two retards eat a turd sandwich? Well, not by first wiping their ass wit…”

“A brick could be used in speech therapy, to cure a stutter. I mean look at me, …”

“My employer made me take a drug test. I got them all the answers right except f…”