I’m thinking about becoming a farmer and a fisherman—a hunter of swimming plants.

“The last time I went speed dating, I brought a radar gun. I got clocked at over…”

“I’d paint with a beard if I could grow out of my abstract expressionist phase.”

“The best part about love is it’ll still be around long after I’m dead. That’s a…”

“And then she walked out of my life forever. Too bad she was hitchhiking. I shou…”