I’m unemployed, so I’m seeking a handjob.

“I’m not stuck up. I’m constipated.
”

“If it’s been more than 24 hours, you call the cops and I’ll buy the flowers. I’…”

“Would you mind washing my feet? I’m a centipede, so it may take you a century.”

“Love is when you love someone’s spirit as much as their body, even if their spi…”