I’m very careful with political statements. When I bash the Republicans, I know I’ll piss off about half the people. That’s why I also bash the Democrats, so I can piss off the other half of the population too.

“Sometimes a well-placed sound effect can be more poignant than a boxing glove-s…”

“If I had to live my life over, I’d live it over seas, like a cloud.”

“A blowjob is the only employment I can get. At least in a bathroom stall.”

“There was an eerie quiet about last night, like death sleeping on the beach of …”