I’m writing a book, one letter at a time. After thirteen days, I just finished writing “Once upon a time.” Since it’s a fairy tale, it’s obviously a romance novel, along the lines of “All Quiet on the Western Front.

“She took off her red pants, the shade of ketchup, to reveal softly tanned legs,…”

“Women are like convertibles: They should be topless. Also, they should stay in …”

“I don’t have to tell you, “I don’t have to tell you” before telling you somethi…”

“I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is calle…”