In the name of freedom and redistribution of wealth, I’ve decided to grow a beard on my chest.

“While I love people, I hate every single person. I only like a person if they’r…”

“I think it would be funny to dye somebody’s pool red and then throw dead fish i…”

“A trophy isn’t about the hardware, the gold-painted statue mounted on marble, i…”

“A brick could be used to support a wobbly table. Who got that table drunk, anyw…”