Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large.

“William Penn would be a great pen name. But for love letters to manicured lawns…”

“People talk of the “whispering wind.” But what are these secrets of the breeze?…”

“Her message was short: “Any kids?” So I wrote, “Sure. But it might take me a fe…”

“I tried to make it out in the moment, while we were making out, but now I’ve go…”