Is there relationship insurance? You know, in case someone steals your significant other? If not, there should be.

“I like watching water drops drip off my eyelashes. Reminds me that I’m not the …”

“I planted a plant in the midst of spies, who were disguised as farmers.”

“If my moles migrated like tiny buffaloes, then I’d let you hunt on my skin and …”

“It also must be hard to have a wife like Mrs. Indianapolis. She’s in the fashio…”