It’s a real pleasure accepting an award—for someone else. Especially if they are my clone.

“I gave my girlfriend a gallon of my semen and a minivan and told her to fill it…”

“I trust politicians to do what’s right. For themselves.
”

“I submitted a poem last night to The New Yorker. They said it can take up to th…”

“A blanket could be used to announce your intention to announce your intentions.…”