It’s amazing how my whole body can be covered up in bed except for one inch on my shoulders and I’ll be cold. But when I pull the blanket up all the way, all of one inch, miraculously I’m warm. One inch makes a difference, especially to a man with a two-inch penis.

“If an ambulance gets in a wreck, who drives them to the hospital? Why doesn’t t…”

“After years of searching, I finally found love. I found it in the unlikeliest o…”

“A brick could be duct taped in front of your eyes, like a blindfold, so you can…”

“A blanket could be used as a sail for my self-esteem when I’m floating upstream…”