It’s disturbing to me that criminals are freely roaming the streets of our nation’s capital. I’m not talking about escaped prison inmates—I’m talking about politicians.

“No bears were molested in the making of this book. Well, no live bears.”

“A brick could be used to block out the pain, if you use it to first inflict pai…”

“A zebra has stripes, the American flag has stripes, and I have an erection. Coi…”

“And then she walked out of my life forever. Too bad she was hitchhiking. I shou…”