It’s impossible for me to applaud your successes when my hands are too busy patting myself on the back. But if I clap for you, and you pat my back, we can both feel like winners.

“My book is called “Blue Collar.” That’s just a working title.”

“My hush is lush. It’s drunk on its own greenness, just as I’m drunk on my blue …”

“Do you find it erotic how my pants bulge in the crotch, where I keep my coffee …”

“The bullpen in a baseball park is the best place for matador training.”