It’s just a dream, I told myself. I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.

“Her message was short: “Any kids?” So I wrote, “Sure. But it might take me a fe…”

“Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thin…”

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a cat guy. Every night as I go …”

“Green bananas are a go, and yellow bananas are a caution: these are too mushy t…”