It’s not stealing if I didn’t know it was in anybody’s possession, and I didn’t know I had it. It’s merely inadvertent taking. (I thought that bulge in my pocket was my erection.)

“A brick could be used as a color in a new line of lipstick, designed to woo the…”

“If you were to stack up all the stupid things I’ve done, you couldn’t clean the…”

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a cat guy. Every night as I go …”

“After I’m famous, I want my statue to be made out of beige Jell-O, and I want t…”