It's really hard to drive, talk on the phone, and jack off at the same time. And, amazingly, nobody in the back of my taxi seems to mind.

“I am who I’ve been pretending to be my whole life.”

“To avoid booby traps, stay away from bras.”

“I sent him a silent message with my body language, but he must be deaf—or, rath…”

“My ball sack is like a bubblegum bubble, only with slightly less bubblegum flav…”