I've decided to donate my arsenal of machine guns to a hunting charity. That should help raze a million bucks.

“I have a star on Hollywood Blvd. It glows in the dark and I stuck it there myse…”

“I think it would be funny to dye somebody’s pool red and then throw dead fish i…”

“I second that notion. And if I had 59 more, I’d have a minute.”

“I was in the shower the other day and I noticed on the back of the shampoo bott…”