I’ve got a pocket full of cash, and a condom full of erection.

“I want to win an award that doesn’t exist yet. Well, I want my clone to win it,…”

“If your favorite politician got ran over by a bus, I’d express my condolences b…”

“Her name was Rebecca. Or at least that’s what her nametag said. She was making …”

“I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll g…”