I’ve got better things to think about than thoughtlessness.

“You won’t ever catch me wearing an oven mitt, because what’s wrong with a regul…”

“A brick could be used to balance work and play. Just place the brick on the top…”

“Life's too short to take yourself seriously, and too long to take a wife joking…”

“If love felt like furry sandpaper, would you ever be able to leave my nipples a…”